Trying to grasp our mutual growth. Why we do this and what it is or might become?
If I put in words on paper and discuss it with Mr S maybe it will become clearer?
Said and done, a few moments later I find myself with these words.
”- Mr S, please listen to me reading these words to you. Listen, reflect and let me hear your words from your heart and your head,” I say as I sit down next to him in the sunshine. And start to read:
”We came across a term that someone used, saying that they were definitely mono-amorous and non-monogamous. And that planted itself in us. Like yeah, we can relate to that. It could have been our words. And today we try them out.
There is no place for more persons to love or be in a love-relationship with within our family. Not today and not in the near future. Nor for me nor for Mr S. We love each other and stay in our relationship together in this duo.
At the same time we are feeling an urge to be relationship anarchists – ie not bound to any other rules for our relationship that the ones we mutually agree upon. We = mr S and I.
The anarchist urge that has been the birthplace of more lust and curiosity to sexplore with others, we have come to terms that we today define us as
For us at the moment this means that we are open to add other persons to our sex acts. Like a threesome in a hotel or like having sex in a sex club, or visiting sex parties. Maybe not always to add someone else at these events, but merely to show our selves off as a couple who enjoy having sex, even if someone is watching. But yes, a threesome at a hotel is definitely adding a person to us.
What it doesn’t mean for us today is that we go our own ways. It is not ok for Mr S to have his own sex act with a new person or for me to be involved with other men (or women) without Mr S by my side. What we do in sex as non-monogamous we do together.
When we get the question if we are swingers and the underlying question are ”do you want to swap partners?”, we say no! If that is your definition of swingers we are NOT calling ourselves swingers.
We do however add more persons than one sometimes, but then that is a full on game with all persons on all. Not two separate events occurring next to each other. Maybe it is more correct to say we are in the swinging community, than to phrase us as swingers….and perhaps mostly it is again our relationship anarchists that rage against the closed concept that swinging equals swapping.
To sum our words, thoughts and reflections up for now…we define our selves as
- free to mutually set the bonds that we feel are needed in our relationship – not to inherit societies or cultures or other traditional bonds
- free to mutually agree to add more persons to our sex-life and mutually agree to whom they might be
- a part of the swinging community without the traditional definition of the swapping having to occur
- the brave lovers in our relationship that consists of only two persons
What have I missed? What more needs to be said here? I am ready to listen!”
”- Darling, you just missed to add the joy, the fun, the naughtiness, the liberation, the excitement and the fear. And yes, not letting other people or society tell us what we can or cannot do. You definitely have the anarchy thing totally spot on!
Come here and give me one of those kisses when you smile. I love to feel the smile on your lips as we kiss. They make me feel loved”. Mr S pulled me closer and we kissed.
The sun was hidden behind the clouds. Mr S´s arms were wrapped around me and my hands unbuttoned his shirt. This summer afternoon was going to be time for some naughty play. Between the two of us.