Stella and Stuart arrived a few minutes early to their session. I had left the door open to them and gone to the kitchen. I saw them come in through the door, he took her coat and put it on a hanger for her. She took his face in her hands and kissed him gently as a thank you. As they walked to the sofa they held hands. They hadn’t noticed me. And yet they were all quiet and still together. A calmness around them that was new to me. It intrigued me and made me hurry up with the glasses and a jug of cold water.
As we said our hello and hugged for a moment I could also sense the calmness. Which made me jump right into the conversation.
”- So who wants to start telling me what is happening in your lives at the moment? I can both see and feel a new sensation of calmness around you. Tell me what decisions you have made these past days or weeks.” I leaned back into my chair as Stella started to speak.
”- Oh, nothing of importance really, I´d say.” Stella was a bit hesitant. Last time we hade a session, it was only her and me present. Not Stuart. She bit her lip and fiddled with her wedding ring.
Stuart broke the short silence instead.
”- Oh, come on, Stella. A lot has happened. I believe that these past 4 weeks have been a huge learning phase for us. For each of us as individuals, and for us and we, as a team. We have had a few experiences that we should tell you about I guess”, he added. ”First we decided upon going to a sex party here in the city. It was organized by a few people whom we have met briefly at a club once and they were keen to have us as guests at this masquerade with +80 guests. Then we also decided to ask our friend Jessica, our unicorn, to come along. Everyone was keen to do so. As we got nearer to the actual party date, Jessica asked for a lunch date on her own with Stella. So that they could talk about costumes etc. What really happened was that Jessica was nervous that things hadn´t ended well last time, so she wanted to see if everything was ok between her and Stella. Which I thought was perfect because Stella has had an issue with Jessica since last time. At the lunch date it turned out that they very briefly touched that subject. And then spent time sharing photos and ideas for the costumes that Stella was going to make.” Stuart moved closer to Stella and took a pause.
”-When I was sitting there in the restaurant I had no feelings at all inside me. Not a single thing to give me any information from within. It was not like I was numb to feelings. They were not just there at all. A signal I read as a ”go ahead”-signal. ”Let’s go ahead with the costumes and the other preparations for the party.” So I did. I had a week of joy and felt really happy to make all three costumes. I sent pictures of the progress. I was really in a good mood. Maybe because Jessica had an idea that I would dress like the queen and she and Stuart as my slaves. So we did. Other guests admired us and I felt safe and secure as the queen. I left Jessica alone with Stuart upon arrival as I had to go to the ladies room. I felt nothing but brave and happy seeing them hug. Seeing Stuart holding on to Jessica as she appeared to be a bit shy. It was more an act of kindness and generosity from me to her.” She stopped and looked at Stuart.
”- I could see the love in your eyes towards us both.It made me happy, just as the week had. It made me feel like I was your king, not your slave.When you returned to us and we found the little sofa it felt so nice to have you in the middle of us, your slaves on each side. You were the most beautiful woman in the room. I felt like we were all three of us really magnificent together. As we started touching each other and kissing each other, things started to heat up.Jessica was first to start moaning. Then I remember you asked me if I wanted to sit in the middle. I don’t know why I didn’t jump at your question and made it happen. ”
”- Shortly after I asked you that question, Jessica leaned over and looked at your erection. Telling me that someone needs to sit on it. My response was ”No, not yet.”, but Jessica would not listen. She kept asking me a few more times, then she started to move towards you. She asked you to get a condom and off you went. She sat down on your place in the sofa and asked me again if she could ride you and why I couldn’t let her be penetrated by you. She would just like to sit on your cock she said. She was nowhere near listening to me. The only thing she sensed was that I was not ok with it at the moment. And she barely promised that she would ride you for a short while. So when you came back with the condom already on, I held on to you and told you too that this was only going to happen for a very short while. Before you had a chance to respond I was kissing you, holding you tight and she mounted the cock.
At that moment everything went dead. Inside me. Nothing felt erotic or sexy or a tiny bit exciting. Just a big, fucking nothingness inside me. Not even a sting of jealousy.
Then an anger appeared – I had used my voice. I had said NO. Yet here we were. And I didn’t like it. You felt it and I have no clue if Jessica did. She rode you shortly, and then left to meet up with the guy next to us. A new friend of ours. Thank god he was there to take care of her horniness the rest of the evening. The three of us got together two more times during the party. And the first time I spoke and told Jessica of my fears. But I didn’t tell her of my anger of her not accepting my NO, nor did I tell her about my experience of the nothingness.
Looking back at the party and all preparations before and everything. I am really happy we went, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss all of this. My only regret is that I was not listened to. And that situation needs to be talked about before we can even plan a new undressed date. I am not ok with meeting her if she cannot listen and accept others. Everybody else at the party know that it is the slowest person you need to wait upon. You cannot rush sex. Yet she did. And the saddest thing might be that she is totally unaware of this. Not at all intelligent in relations between persons.” Stella looks at me and asks:
”- Jessica is constantly showing up in my thoughts, and I have not invited her to come. I do not want her there cause she takes so much energy from me. Energy I want to use for me and us, the we, me and Stuart. I am trying to ”park” her somewhere around the corner in my mind so that she will not pop up. But it is so hard. Please Thelma, help me with some good advice on this.”
Stuart is hugging Stella close as she leans back into his arms. He is strong and at the same time perplexed. I can see that he believes that the best he can do is hug Stella and make her feel safe that way. He seems like he hasn’t got a clue what to say and when. I decide that my advice will include them both.
The advice for Stella is to write about everything that has happened. Also to keep writing whenever Jessica comes visiting her thoughts. Write it down as a way to ”park” her out of her system.
The advice for Stuart is twofold –
1. to let Stella know that he can see and hear that she is in a difficult situation that is tough for her while still using the hugs as a way to calm Stella´s nervous system.
2. to give Stella new experiences and memories that themselves take place in her system and thereby eases the grip of the amount of thoughts of Jessica that can show up.
My last advice is to them both.
Plan a meeting or a dinner with Jessica within three months. Not sooner than 2 months nor later than 3 months. Create a distance to the event, yet not too far away.
I bid them goodbye and leave for the kitchen. Again leaving them on their own a while before leaving my session. I believe that the calmness they came with can return to them while I leave them. Seeing them through the doorway a few minutes later, I can sense their calmness returning. Slowly.
No person, relation or likewise came to any harm at the sharing of this story. Neither before, during or afterwards. If all of the above is a fantasy, reality or other is irrelevant. What the words mean to you and your relation is the only thing that matters.