Do you fancy us, Thelma?

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A message out of the blue on a Wednesday afternoon.
A misunderstanding?
A misinterpretation?

Whatever the case, a couple that we (mr S and I) have met a few times for drinks and dinner were wondering if I fancied them. Cause they were unsure. About me fancying them.

In their message I detect or perceive an underlying message that it for them is important THAT I do fancy at least one of them.

So read their message below and further on you’ll find my reflections and answer.


”Hope you are enjoying the nice and warm weather wherever you are.
My partner and I have talked and felt that we
1. Appreciate honesty and straightforwardness
2. we hope you appreciate the same

After our three dates, we feel that You, Thelma, don’t seem to fancy anyone of us. And we would like you to tell us, because this makes us unsure. 
Maybe we are completely wrong – if so we can definitely handle that. 
We would like to continue meeting you guys in a date or two or three or more, with some more cuddling and ”undressedness”. But before that, let us just raise this concern of ours right now. So do you fancy anyone of us Thelma?

Hugs from us”


My initial reaction was a bodily stress that I couldn’t understand at all. (Yes, even I am human and react to things occurring to me, even though I am trained for life).
A few talks with mr S later, and some deep breathing, the stress eased off and I could see my wish to perform and to serve. To make everyone pleased and happy and that my behavior had been challenged as my signals to these two persons obviously had caused them trouble. I too want to please and serve and perform. But not to all and everyone nor on my account of not being true to myself and what I feel.

Second reaction, was instead a response to all that happened inside me, feelings, stress, thoughts. A response to step away and see myself from afar. To see what was underneath or what might be the common denominator.
Laughter and smiles all over as I realized that I too had been unsure of them, did they really fancy me? My interpretation was just as unsure as theirs, I felt that they only wanted mr S to pleasure the other woman. And that I had no part in a possible undressed and erotic act.
Smiles all over again as I so well know of our mirror neurons and their power over us. And how do we ever get to the bottom of who had the initial doubt about fancying someone else? In my world that is not even necessary to know. But it might be important to them.

Next morning I woke up early as the third reaction began to take place.
I read a few short texts when the insight dawned upon me.

”We’re all waiting for someone else to do it first. To choose us, love us, share first, be vulnerable first. We operate from ‘I’m closed but you should be open.’ See how that’s backwards? If you always go first, you always win. Because your love isn’t dependent on others, it’s dependent on yourself. It feels scary, right? That’s because most of us believe we’re lovable if someone else loves us. Can you love you? Perfect. Can you show up, love all out and be ready not to be loved back? When we give unconditional love, we invite it.”

Mark Groves

That we all want the other to act first. To fancy us first. Cause than I can fancy you. What happens if I fancy myself first, do I ever need them to fancy me at all?
What would happen if we all did the opposite to Mullah (who searched for his lost key outside the house as it was brighter there, even though he knew that he had lost it inside the house…) that we went inside our selves first instead of searching on the outside or in someone else?

…at the same time I know (as every other woman) that being a turn-on for someone IS a BIG turn-on for me….

My fourth reaction was a reply to their initial question. Do I fancy anyone of them? No.
Not today. What I do fancy is myself, and I also fancy a possible erotic situation between us four. Maybe in that situation there will appear a more direct lust for one of them or it won’t. I can never guarantee nor promise that I will have sex with any of them. But if it is ok with them, yes I would fancy having sex next to them.

Reply is sent and we are still awaiting an answer.
Will this be enough for them or do they want promises that we WILL have sex with them, that we have fancy them so much that having sex together definitely will happen?
I am really curious to what happens inside them as they read my reply and I hope they have the courage to explore inwards and to give me/us the honest and straightforward feedback that was their initial remark.

I also perceive an immaturity and sense that we would be their first couple…I am not certain that is a turn-on for me.


As you hopefully have understood by now, not only my clients but also myself with my partner in sex (and life) is exploring our sexual limitations and pleasures. We do all of this together and at the moment we like to add a few flavors to our company. We have tried this a few times and feel like exploring more.

And yes, I more than often fancy the erotic situation a lot more than any of the other persons. That is one of my understandings/insights/lessons so far. Maybe it will change or maybe it will stay the same.

I do fancy the thought of the up-coming undressed party at this big villa in a few weeks. That is already a big turn-on and a lust for all erotic situations that will occur, whether mr S and I will physically interact with anyone else or just energetically interact….all will be fine just as it is. We are walking this sexploration road together.

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